I know many of you have been struggling with social media – I too struggle from time to time so this week I’m talking about how to thrive and survive on social media and live to tell the tale.
Anyone who’s ever posted to promote their business on social media will know that sometimes it’s tough, and you can often feel like you aren’t good enough.
I’m sure that if you employ them, my six tips will help you gain confidence to show up regularly, help your potential clients and make you more money by converting them into actual paying clients.
As you probably know, I’m a big fan of journaling, and the idea for this topic came about when I was flicking back through some of the older entries in my diary. This is what I’d written:
Checked social media; not a lot of action there. Feck it. It’s not working. People are sick of me. I should be doing something different. What if everybody is tired of hearing me?
Does this sound familiar to you?
Almost all the personal stylists I’ve ever worked with have a really challenging time with social media.
As you can see from my journal entry, I struggle too.
So why did I share this with you?
To show you that no matter how long you’ve been actively using social media in your business, the same old difficulties will reoccur from time to time, and it’s usually down to dips in self-esteem. Sometimes I blame the moon! Anyone notice there was a full moon earlier in the month? It knocked me for six!
I also shared it because tip #1 for surviving and thriving on social media is:
1) Become aware of what you’re struggling with
And journaling is the best way I’ve found of doing that. I pick up my pen and let my thoughts run freely, and as you can see from the quote, that day was not the best! However, once I got into the writing flow, I started to identify the feelings associated with my thoughts. In the following few pages, what came up were my feelings of inadequacy around presenting a cohesive brand. What is that anyway?
I’d got into comparing myself to others who I thought were better than me because of their beautiful pictures and impressive lifestyle. I thought they looked more like mentors than me; they presented themselves better than I did, and their posts and videos seemed effortless compared to mine. You know, all the usual things we find at fault in ourselves.
The more I journaled, I realised that I was spending too long scrolling through my feed. I also noticed that some posts made me feel great because they inspired me, or I learnt something new and interesting. However, others were draining me and making me feel bad about myself.
On and on, I went, writing my thoughts down, and then it hit me: what was the point in seeing those posts that made me feel bad? I was entirely in control of the content I consumed. I could limit the amount of time I spent scrolling and could unfollow people, protect my mindset by not seeing their posts anymore, and they’d never know!
I found the solution by writing about my feelings. I instantly felt more confident about posting once I’d cleared the negativity from my feed by unfollowing a few people that really weren’t my people. It isn’t only with social media that journaling has helped me.
It’s helped me overcome so many niggling, unhelpful thoughts about other things in my life and business too.
2) Release bad feelings
So once you’re aware of negative feelings, the next step is to work out a way to manage them. Now, I’m not saying you should stuff them down, distract yourself and pretend like they don’t exist.
I acknowledge their presence and then release them in some way. I use tapping, also known as EFT or Emotional Freedom Technique, and there’s also another tool I’ve used in the past called the Sedona Method.
Both ask you to allow the feelings initially and then help release them, allowing space for more positive emotions to bubble up.
3) Find a way to forgive
Forgiveness is key to managing feelings of inadequacy and unworthiness. Often, we hold grudges against people. It could be those we see on social media and decide we don’t like for some reason, past clients who’ve mistreated us, or our peers who we might envy. Sometimes the person we need to forgive is ourselves for being so critical of us.
You can easily build a forgiveness practise into your morning routine by repeating a simple mantra. I call the person I want to forgive to mind and say their name aloud, followed by “I forgive you. I’m sorry. Thank you. I love you.”
Remember with forgiveness, its not about condoning bad behavious, its about releasing the negative charge so you can go on with your life with more ease and grace. Forgiveness is as much for you as it is for the other person.
I love this quote by Marianne Williamson:
Unforgiveness is like drinking poison yourself and waiting for the other person to die.
4) Be grateful
Another way to deal with negative feelings is to introduce a simple gratitude ritual into every day simply by saying thank you out loud several times a day for the things you are grateful for. For example, “Thank you for the beautiful day outside. Thank you for my past clients. Thank you for my current clients. Thank you for my future clients. Thank you for my gorgeous boys. Thank you for my cup of coffee”.
Whatever you’re thankful for, big or small things, thank the universe for them as part of your everyday rituals.
This let’s the universe know that you’re ready for more good stuff and more importantly it shifts your focus to positivity and whats possible.
5) Use positive affirmations
I hear a lot about affirmations but I don’t find they’re very useful unless I’ve done the work I talked about previously to identify the problem and clear the feelings around the negative thoughts I’ve been having.
Repeating affirmations tends to be the last part of my morning routine when I’ve completed all the steps I’ve mentioned above.
6) Move your body
Doing whatever form of exercise makes you feel good helps massively manage negative feelings. It can be anything: a walk in the woods with your dog, a yoga class, or swimming at your local pool. Whatever your thing is, do it often!
There you have it. My six super simple tips to help you deal with all the crappy feelings that go with social media. What do you think of them? Will you give them a try?